A Man I Used To Know Read online

  Tony’s infection had resisted all of the antibiotics they’d tried. Panic was settling in among Lila and her fellow doctors before their last available antibiotic had finally begun to show signs of killing the infection.

  “So, is your mother coming in again today?” Lila asked, bending to examine the fastenings on the brace.

  Tony nodded. “She’s bringing a bunch of schoolwork for me. I’m missing all kinds of stuff,” he added, looking pleased.

  Lila chuckled and stood erect again. “Well, you’d better start working hard to catch up. I’m afraid we’ll have to keep you here for a few more weeks while we get that sore leg looked after.”

  “That’s okay.” Tony inched his wheelchair closer to the other children, moving his IV stand deftly along with him. “I like it in here.”

  “You’re a good boy, Tony.”

  She patted his shoulder, then turned when a disturbance arose at the entrance to the playroom.

  “Jamie’s here!” the other children were shouting. “Hey, look at Jamie!”

  A chubby baby stood in the doorway, beaming happily, wearing nothing but a diaper. He was about twenty months old with a golden halo of curls, a pair of sturdy dimpled legs and bright blue eyes. In his hand he gripped a small plastic soldier.

  “Oh, Jamie.” Lila tucked her clipboard under her arm as she hurried toward him. “You’re not supposed to be in here. Did you get out of your crib again?”

  The baby chuckled hoarsely and went into a paroxysm of coughing. When he recovered, he tossed his doll onto the floor and looked up at her with a sparkling grin.

  “Frow a man,” he said solemnly.

  Lila picked up the doll, then scooped the baby into her arms and cuddled him. “Yes, you threw the man.” She nuzzled Jamie’s plump neck. “You’re always throwing that poor little man around, and if you don’t stop, you’re going to lose him someday. Then there’ll be a big fuss, won’t there?”

  Jamie giggled and tugged at her hair.

  Lila carried him down the hall to one of the infant rooms, where a pair of nursing assistants were making up the cribs with fresh sheets. She sat in a rocking chair by the window, took a clean flannel sleeper from a stack on one of the trolleys and fitted it onto Jamie’s body while he nestled contentedly in her arms.

  The head nurse came into the room and paused, hands on hips, looking down at the baby, then at Lila.

  “There he is,” she said. “I’ve been looking all over for this young man.”

  “Hi, Marie. He came into the playroom and threw his dolly,” Lila said, fastening the sleeper under Jamie’s chin.

  “Did he, now?” Marie picked up the baby and placed him in one of the cribs, where he immediately set up a hoarse, mournful howl, then began to cough again.

  Lila watched him with sympathy as he stood clutching the metal rails, tears streaming down his fat cheeks. “Poor little fellow,” she said. “He hates being stuck all alone in that crib.”

  Marie relented and lifted him into her arms again, cuddling him tenderly. “But we can’t let him into the playroom. He’s still infectious.”

  Lila checked another of the charts on her clipboard. “I think I’ll release him tomorrow. We’ve got his temperature mostly under control, don’t we? And he’s not nearly as dehydrated.”

  “No, but he’s in day care, you know.” Marie handed Jamie to one of her assistants, then patted his bottom and smiled. “If we release him early, his parents will have to make some arrangements to care for him at home the next few days.”

  Lila sighed and got up, looking at her watch. “Do you have time for a coffee?” she asked the nurse. “I need to eat something before I go home. I’m starving.”

  “That sounds great.”

  Marie glanced at her young nursing assistant, who still cuddled Jamie. The baby’s tears had stopped and he was laughing again as he peered over the girl’s shoulder at his little plastic doll, which he’d just dropped onto the floor.

  “Frow a man,” he murmured happily.

  “His mother’s taking the afternoon off work, Carla,” the head nurse said. “She should be getting here soon, and then Mr. Jamie will give the rest of us some peace for a while.”

  The nursing assistant grinned shyly. “It’s okay. I like holding him.”

  Lila and the nurse left the room and moved off down the tiled corridor, a study in contrasts as they walked side by side.

  Lila Marsden was a slender woman, taller than her friend by at least five inches. She was wearing black pleated slacks and a gray turtleneck beneath her white doctor’s smock. Her dark hair was pulled smoothly back and tied at her nape with a silk scarf, and her blue eyes were calm under even eyebrows.

  In repose, Lila’s face often seemed withdrawn, almost cool, but when she spoke, a dimple in her left cheek gave her an engaging and unexpected sparkle.

  Marie Korman, the head nurse in the pediatric ward, was small and brisk in her pink uniform and thick-soled white shoes. She had curly gray hair, bright dark eyes and deep laugh lines around her eyes and mouth. But at the moment she looked subdued.

  “Carrie’s throwing up again,” Lila said, holding the cafeteria door open for her friend.

  “I know.” Marie shook her head. “Poor little mite. She’s having an even tougher time with the chemo than most of them do.”

  “But she’s a real fighter. You should have seen her struggling this morning to get those overalls on her teddy bear.”

  Lila followed Marie through the lineup, selected a pot of tea, a ham sandwich and a slice of carrot cake and found a table near the window.

  “Tony’s better today,” Marie said. “He spiked up to a hundred and four during the night, but only once. Have you seen his lab tests this morning?”

  Lila nodded, munching hungrily on her sandwich. “The antibiotic’s started to work, but he’s going to need a long course of treatment, the poor kid. IV’s at four-hour intervals around the clock for at least another week, then oral medication for another month. I’m not taking any chances of recurrence on this one.”

  “That was so terrifying, when nothing we tried could stop his infection. These new superbugs are my worst nightmare, Lila.”

  “I know. If that last antibiotic hadn’t been effective...”

  Both women were silent for a moment. Finally Marie shook her head and watched as Lila attacked the carrot cake with its gooey icing.

  “Is that lunch or dinner?” she asked.

  “I guess it’s sort of both.” Lila sighed and stretched her arms. “I’m so tired, I can’t remember.”

  “You and I are getting to be such pitiful creatures,” the nurse said briskly. “Look, let’s cheer ourselves up. It’s Saturday, you know. We should go out and have some fun tonight. It’ll do us both good.”

  Lila smiled at her friend and started to pack dishes and utensils neatly on her tray. “That does sound like fun. A couple of wild single girls out on the town. What should we do?”

  “Well, the stampede’s on.” Marie got up, holding her own tray. “We could drive out to the fairgrounds. It’s the last day of the rodeo.”

  Lila stiffened, her hands tightening on the tray. “What did you say?”

  “The rodeo,” Marie said patiently. “The annual Medicine Hat Stampede and Fair. Haven’t you noticed,” she added dryly, “that this whole city is decorated like a frontier town, Lila? Haven’t you seen everybody in the stores and restaurants wearing embroidered shirts and cowboy hats?”

  “I just ignore it every year,” Lila muttered, her heart pounding. “I look on it as an annual insanity that goes away in a few days.”

  “You don’t like the rodeo?” Marie said curiously. “I thought everybody loved it.”

  “Not me.” Lila moved away to deposit her tray in a metal rack. “I hate everything about it. Look, let’s just go to a movie, okay?”

  “Why don’t you like the rodeo?” Marie asked, following her toward the door. “Don’t you love all those cowboys in their tight jeans
and Stetsons?”

  Lila was immediately assailed by a memory so vivid and painful that she was afraid she might burst into tears. She saw a pair of wide shoulders, blue eyes shaded by a broad-brimmed hat, a teasing grin...

  “I’ll call you later,” she said a little desperately. “Maybe we can go to dinner before the movie, if I finish up here in time. Okay?”

  “First you have to tell me what you’ve got against rodeos,” Marie said. “I can’t believe a girl who’s spent her life in Medicine Hat isn’t a rodeo fan.”

  “It’s just because...”

  Lila faltered, glancing anxiously toward the door. The pain was intense now, and she needed to escape and be alone.

  “It’s because of a...a man I used to know,” she whispered.

  She turned abruptly and hurried out of the cafeteria, leaving Marie standing in the hallway, watching her in surprise.

  CHAPTER TWO

  NEAR THE RODEO ARENA, Ward Lincoln appeared at the side of the camper and looked up at Kelly, shading his eyes with his hand. He was a bull rider, too, a squat, bowlegged little cowboy with big ears and a gentle smile.

  His wife stood next to him. Jenny Lincoln had a lot of freckles and was heavily pregnant, wearing a flowered smock over her blue jeans.

  “Come on down from there, Kelly,” she said. “Ward and I will take you and Casey over to the hospital.”

  Kelly hesitated, then scrambled down from the camper roof and stood silently next to them, digging into the dirt with the toe of her sneaker.

  Jenny touched her shoulder, but Kelly didn’t respond. She knew she’d probably start crying if she tried to talk, and that would be just awful, to have people see her crying. So she stayed silent and jerked away from the woman’s hand.

  “Jenny will drive your truck to the hospital,” Ward said, “because your daddy’s going to need it when he gets better. I’ll follow in our vehicle.”

  “Where’s Casey?” his wife asked.

  Kelly jerked a thumb over her shoulder. “He’s asleep in the back.”

  Ward and his wife exchanged a glance. “Will he fall out of bed while we’re driving?”

  Kelly shook her head and addressed the ground, not looking at them. “Dad built a rail on the bunk to keep him in. He’s safe.”

  “All right, let’s go.”

  Jenny settled her bulk behind the wheel of the Bennets’ truck. Kelly climbed into the passenger seat and stared out the window, resisting all the woman’s efforts to draw her into conversation while they drove across the city to the hospital.

  “I’ll stay here at the truck with Casey,” Ward volunteered when they parked both trucks at the edge of the big lot. “Jen, you take Kelly inside and let Tom know what we’re doing.”

  “Okay.” Jenny reached for the girl’s arm but Kelly resisted, jamming both hands deeper into the pockets of her jeans.

  Inside the hospital she stood looking around at the soaring entry foyer, roofed in glass and filled with greenery. There were toys and books scattered around, and groupings of brightly colored furniture. It looked nice and homey, not at all like a hospital.

  Jenny made inquiries at the admissions desk and then took Kelly upstairs to a ward that was pale and very quiet. Nurses and doctors bustled around, looking grim.

  “Mr. Bennet’s in ICU,” the head nurse said. “No visitors allowed at the moment.”

  “This is one of his kids,” Jenny said. She leaned forward and murmured something to the woman, whose eyes widened.

  “All right,” the nurse said, looking curiously at Kelly. “But just for a minute, all right?”

  “Thank you,” Jenny said. She knelt to look directly into Kelly’s eyes under the brim of the baseball cap. “Listen, sweetie, you can go see your daddy for a minute. Tell him that Ward and I are going to take you and Casey out to Falkland and then Cloverdale with us. He can catch up with us on the road by calling any of the rodeo offices in British Columbia.”

  Kelly nodded, avoiding the woman’s gentle, concerned gaze.

  “Okay, I’ll tell him,” she muttered, edging toward the door where the nurse stood.

  “Don’t forget, Falkland and then Cloverdale!” Jenny called.

  Kelly felt a brief flare of scorn. As if she could forget.

  Everybody on the circuit knew where the next rodeos were. Half the cowboys at Medicine Hat were going on to the same string of rodeos in British Columbia, and the rest were heading back down to Montana and then east to the Dakota plains.

  Entries were booked, rodeo fees paid in advance, traveling arrangements looked after. Nobody could afford to wait around in Medicine Hat for an injured bull rider to get better, and nobody expected them to.

  Kelly tiptoed into the room behind the nurse, then paused in sudden terror. Her father lay on a long metal bed with side rails like a crib. He wore some kind of cotton dress and was covered by a blue sheet. All kinds of tubes and wires were attached to him, and he seemed to be asleep.

  Kelly glanced up at the nurse, who nodded, looking kind and concerned.

  “He might be able to hear you,” she whispered. “He’s just resting.”

  Kelly approached the bed hesitantly. Her body felt stiff and jerky, strangely brittle, as if she were going to break apart and fall in a million pieces on the floor. She reached out and touched his hand, lying lifeless and pale on the blue sheet.

  “Hi, Daddy,” she whispered. “It’s me, Kelly.”

  His eyelids fluttered, but he didn’t speak. It was terrifying, the way he looked so weak and helpless. Kelly wanted to fling herself on top of him, batter him with her fists, make him wake up and smile at her.

  She stood for a long time just staring at him, then leaned forward to kiss his cheek near the bandage that covered most of his head. His skin was cold and smelled faintly of medicine.

  The nurse touched her shoulder. “That’s all for now, I think, dear. You can come back later if your friends haven’t left yet. He might be awake by evening.”

  Kelly followed the nurse out of the room, then clattered downstairs with Jenny, ignoring the woman’s questions. She ran across the parking lot to their truck, where Ward sat on the tailgate sharpening a pair of spur rowels. Casey was still asleep.

  “How’s your dad?” the cowboy asked.

  Kelly paused, thinking rapidly. “Oh, he’s...pretty good,” she said at last. “Dad says his stomach hurts a bit where the bull stepped on him, but he’ll be fine in a day or two, I guess.”

  Ward and Jenny exchanged a relieved glance. “Did you tell him we’re taking you and Casey on to B.C. with us?” Jenny asked.

  Kelly fixed her eyes on the spur in Ward’s hand and took a deep breath. “Dad said for us not to do that.”

  “Why?” Ward asked.

  “Dad said...” Kelly paused nervously. “He said he’s heading out to North Dakota when he gets better, not B.C., so we should go with Earl and Mary instead and he’ll catch up with us.”

  “Well now, I’m surprised to hear that.” Ward looked puzzled. “I didn’t think Tom was planning to go east this summer.”

  “He just changed his mind,” Kelly said, improvising rapidly. “Because since he’s... since he’s hurt, he might not be able to ride bulls for a while, so he’d rather go to North Dakota and do some calf roping on Earl’s horse.”

  “Well, that does make sense,” Ward said, “though I just assumed you’d come along with us, like your dad planned. But if he told you he wants to go on to the Dakotas...” He and his wife exchanged a lengthy glance and then a nod of agreement. “So you figure you can wait here for Earl and Mary?” he asked. “I know they’re on their way over. Jenny and me, we’re all packed and ready to head out. We need to be in Calgary before nightfall to make Falkland in the morning.”

  “We’re fine,” Kelly told him. “Daddy says thanks for all your help,” she added.

  Ward and his wife both hugged her. “You take care of yourself, sweetheart,” Jenny murmured. “Say thanks to Earl and Mary, and tell your d
addy to get well real quick, you hear?”

  Kelly hated being touched, but she endured the hugs because she didn’t want to raise their suspicions. She even forced a smile and stood waving as the young couple drove off, heading into the western sunset.

  HALF AN HOUR LATER, she was inside the camper, opening a can of beans for Casey’s supper, when Earl Hirsch arrived with Mary, his plump, sweet-faced wife. Their big truck and four-horse trailer rolled past the camper and stopped a few lanes down, taking up a whole row of parking stalls.

  Earl came striding back, big and red-faced, his boots clumping on the asphalt. “Hey, kitten,” he said to Kelly. “How’s your daddy?”

  Kelly buttered a slice of toast on the little counter, put it on a plate and spooned some beans over it, then offered the plate to Casey, who sat at the miniature table inside the camper.

  “Daddy’s fine,” she said briefly to Earl, who lounged against the tailgate. “He’ll be up and around in a few days. I guess he just mostly got the wind knocked out of him.”

  “Is that so?” Earl looked surprised. “You know, I was afraid them injuries might be a whole lot worse than getting his wind knocked out. But Tommy Bennet, he’s one tough cowboy.”

  “Daddy’s one tough cowboy,” Casey echoed, bean juice dribbling down his chin.

  Kelly glared at her little brother. “Don’t talk with your mouth full.”

  Earl’s wife came up and leaned inside the camper, as well, beaming at Casey, who was a favorite of hers. “Eating dinner, are you, sweetheart?” she asked.

  Kelly cut the toast up silently, hovering nearby to make sure Casey didn’t get messy.

  “Earl and I thought we’d go in and talk to your daddy,” Mary began, “and tell him we’re taking you and Casey to Montana with us, and he can catch up later when he’s healed.”

  Kelly tensed. “He can’t talk to anybody right now. The nurse said I was the only one who could go into his room.”

  “Well then,” Earl said, “could you run in there and tell Tom you’re coming with us? Tell him we’ll take good care of you all, and he can catch up with us over in the Dakotas.”